For quite some time now I've been working on an idea for a post about structure and how good it is for us ADDers (even if we do want to buck against it sometimes) but, much like my efforts to add a little structure to my own life, it just hasn't been coming together. Well, after the wake-up call I got yesterday, I think I'm better prepared both for this post and implementing structure in my own life.
One of the reasons my ADD went undetected for so long is because my parents just seemed to naturally know what I needed to be able to succeed and were able to find the perfect balance of keeping me structured and on a routine without making it so strict and rigid it left no room for flexibility. I was fortunate to have parents who's work schedules allowed them to be very involved in my life. Therefore, they were able to help me develop a routine so that I didn't have to think about planning my day to get everything in; I just followed the routine.
When I went off to college though, things began to change. At first I did OK but slowly I started forgetting assignments until the last minute and either not getting them done or having to rush and do them right before class. Once I even ended up having to retake a class because I got the date for the big project mixed up and wasn't able to get it done. Fortunately, the professor was kind enough not to give me an F but instead gave me an NC (no credit) so it didn't hurt my GPA. I did better with classes I took with friends because we would talk about the assignments enough to keep them in my memory and often we worked on our homework together. Once I graduated though, I was on my own.
At first, even though I was struggling to keep it together in my personal life, I managed not to let it show at work. I had a hard time keeping important papers organized and just barely managed to pay everything on time, not because I didn't have the money, but because I just couldn't remember when they were due. Then, as my depression worsened and my job duties changed, my struggles started to seep into my job as well. By the time I was diagnosed with ADD last September, every day was chaos in my head as I struggled to keep due-dates for assignments straight and even started missing deadlines my supervisor gave me. Since I've started the medication, things at work have gotten better but I still struggle with keeping my personal life in order. I've "tried" for a while now to find a routine I could stick to but that stubborn, independent streak would kick in and get frustrated at the thought of having my day so planned out that I felt like a robot and I'd back off from it.
And that's pretty much how things have been for the last few months until last week. Better than they use to be but still not quite what they should be. I'd been lucky so far. I'd go through papers just in time to be reminded of something in the next few days that I had completely forgotten about. But last week, I didn't look in time. I got a parking ticket at work (did I mention I work for Uncle Sam). So, being as how I was on federal property and got the ticket from a federal police officer, I had to go to federal court for it. I arranged to take off work on the 8th for court, just to realize, as I was just about to start getting ready, that I had the date wrong and I was a week early. I was embarrassed that I'd gotten it wrong but didn't think too much of it since I was early instead of late. Well, the next week I switched my day off so I wouldn't have to take leave again. I stopped to get gas and a quick snack for breakfast. Once I got back in the car I pulled out the GPS to be certain I got to the right place. I pulled out the paperwork to get the address and that is when I realized I'd gotten the date mixed up with an event at work and I was suppose to be there the day before!! I was mortified! I immediately tried to call the courthouse but they didn't open for another 45 minutes. My mom was bringing my uncle to a doctor's appointment here so I called her to let her know what happened and so she wouldn't freak if she got a phone call from me to come get me out of jail because I was certain there was a "failure to appear" warrant (a federal warrant) out for my arrest. I then called my boyfriend and asked, "What do I do?" He suggested I call before I showed up there because, as he put it, "I don't want you to walk into any drama and then you're calling me to come get you out." So I drove on downtown but waited in my truck until the courthouse opened. I called and explained to the lady that answered the phone in the clerks office that I was on my way to the courthouse this morning when I realized I had gotten the dates mixed up and I was actually suppose to be there yesterday. She asked me a few questions and checked on something and FORTUNATELY was able to give me a continuation until April 10 when I go back. I've never been so thankful to have something postponed in all my life!
So, now I've become more adamant about keeping my planner up-to-date. I've always gone back and forth with planners. I'd see how great it could be for me but then I'd get to caught up with living life and wouldn't take the time to write anything down. I think there was a bit of pride there for me too. I've always thought of myself as having a good memory. And, (thank you Lord) my long term memory for things that were said, things I learned, things I read, and things that happened is pretty good. However, due to the ADD and how easily distracted I am, my short-term memory, especially with dates and times, is terrible. Well, the fear I felt that day was enough for me to get past that pride. I make sure to write things down in my planner. If it's something I need an extra reminder for, I put it on my Google calendar (private entry) and it syncs with my Android phone and I get text messages as reminders. I even get a daily email from Google with my "agenda" for the day.
I think I've mentioned before that my best friend had ADD growing up. Well, ever since I've known her she's ALWAYS had a planner or calendar of sorts to keep up with things. I often laughed to myself about it but now I realize I should've been more like her all along. So, to all you ADDers out there. If time management and short term memory is something you struggle with like me, take my advice, don't let it take a missed court date, and fear of a warrant to get you to realize how important it is to find a way that works for you to keep up with the important stuff. Learn from my mistake. PLEASE!
1 comment:
Eeek! That was close. Out of all of my friends from high school you would definitely be the least likely I'd suspect to have a federal arrest warrant out on them. ; )
I love planners and journals. It seems like I can't remember ANYTHING until I write it down and then the act of writing it down helps put it in my memory. I bought a planner that has a big enough space to where I can write a little something about each day just as a sort of keepsake. I keep each year's planner and it's really fun to read back and see what was important to me on that day months/years later. Maybe that would take some of the sting out of needing to write things down for you?
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